𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑡𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑏𝑜𝑥.

[castle]

PETE CASTIGLIONE ∎ FRANK CASTLE ∎ text ∎ audio ∎ video ∎ action █ █

Comments

[castle]

[ hasn't he ... already been doing that?

as for the other thing though — ]

i don't do mushy faces

[earpiest]

( but MORE frank
TAKE THAT TO 300%
IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION )

denial is a normal, healthy part of coming to terms with things

I mean I think we could plant sunflowers inside the house and they'd be flourish with the warm sunshine you turn her way

[castle]

[ this is too much pressure. ]

i've been told i got rough road for a face
doubt much sunshine comes out of that

can't i just make her a nacho dish for breakfast or something

[earpiest]

( FRANK CASTLE SO HELP HER )

too bad, I've seen it with my own eyes
you aren't going to fool me with your cranky shell

that should be phase 1, definitely. it's a strong start, but given the food situation I think you need some extra phases.

[castle]

don't know what you're talking about

[ you don't know his life, earp #2!! ]

phases? what do you want me to do
throw her a damn parade now?

[earpiest]

😊

now you're being facetious, good sir
just have a few cute things up your sleeve

[castle]

sure yeah i can do that

[ though he's not exactly sure what qualifies as "cute". ]

anyway wouldn't you want to spend the day with her
makes more sense that it'd be you instead of me

[earpiest]

of course I do, and you're not going to have her to yourself the whole day
but this is your first birthday when you two are together
so I am very generously sharing and caring

[castle]

oh well i guess i'm honored then

[ that she's sacrificing her valuable time for his sake. is it sarcasm? hard to tell through text, isn't it?

but then he has a thought, realizing he ... doesn't actually know this answer. ]

how old?

[ they haven't really. talked ages or birthdays before. ]

[earpiest]

you're kidding right

( right? )

you don't know how old she is?

[castle]

[ don't call him out. ]

never exactly came up in conversation

[ surviving stuff in town. doing other things. y'know. ]

[earpiest]

how old do you think she is?

( danger danger )

[castle]

[ he hasn't been carbon dating that ass, waverly. ]

early 30s i'd guess

[earpiest]

( g a s p )

Oh My Gosh
I’m telling her you said that

She’s 29! You totally added years!

[castle]

[ was there any right answer?? ]

so she's turning 30

same difference

[earpiest]

Nuh uh!
Early thirties could be 31 to 35, which could have meant you thought she was turning 36. You added six years to her age! That’s an insulting thing to say to any lady.

😔😔😔

[castle]

what the hell's wrong with 36

i'm 36

[earpiest]

Oh, really? I would’ve guessed 42.

[castle]

suit yourself
i'm not offended

i'd guess you were 16

[earpiest]

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Now you’re just being rude. Come on, Frank, you’re not totally clueless about women. Stop playing dumb.

[castle]

well i'm sure if i gave the vague guess of early 20s, you'd say i was undermining your potential as a mature established woman

[earpiest]

Right now I think you’re undermining your chances to be in my good books but okay

[castle]

i asked one simple question

[earpiest]

when’s your birthday?

[castle]

later

[ he's not risking getting any surprises. ]